Thursday, October 8, 2009

In a month's time...

So...here I am 1 month ( and a couple of days) later. Things are going really well. To date I have lost 20 pounds pre-op and 16 pounds post-op. I am working hard on that "hurry up and lose it" mentality. I am realizing more and more that my own goals have put me on the path to failure. I officially weigh in tomorrow, and am hopeful to hit another pound, but as of today the total loss is 36 pounds. I haven't changed a size yet, but all of the dresses I was wearing were really too tight and now some of them are getting a little bit loose, but not retired yet.

So here is what is going on:

I am going to a business meeting next Tuesday. I have to fly, so I have several things on my mind about that.
1. I think I have lost enough that I don't need to have seat belt anxiety.
2. I scheduled my first fill for the Friday I get back so I don't have any problems too far from home.
3. I am still on soft consistency foods and I am hoping to remain on track while at business social functions.

I ordered my halloween costume. I took the plunge and only ordered a 2x instead of a 3x. I am usually in a 2x, but costumes tend to run smaller. It arrived, I tried it on and while a tad snug...it is a GO for the holiday. My daughter was SO thrilled that we will BOTH be Viking Queens for Halloween.

I have now upped my exercise. I am at Zumba 4 times a week and reduced weights 2 times a week. They took my old weights and reduced them by half and I will increase them a few pounds each time I go back. I think it is a good plan.

I know some people are daily bloggers, but I have decided to just do a monthly blog in addition to my weekly YouTube vlog. Probably because I feel like I ramble too much in text and at least they put a timer on me in YouTube!

Thanks for reading and good vibes to you all!

Michelle

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Recovering...

So...it is Saturday. I am finally up to sitting and blogging about the surgery/hospital experience.
My surgery was Tuesday. I was told to report at 9am..I was there at 8:30am and didn't get called back by the pre-op team until 12:30pm. I was a bit anxious and a tad hungry since I didn't eat past 7:30pm the night before...but there was a patient getting a bypass before me and apparently it took longer than expected.


I had the standard pre-op stuff...the Heparin shot hurt a LOT..I didn't think the nurse was exceptionally rough, but I still have a bruise on my arm from it today. Everything else went as expected. I had the drug in my IV that relaxed me. I made it into the operating room and saw a few people and then I was out. When I woke up in recovery..there was a nice male nurse there taking care of me. Very sweet guy. I had no pain really..and my lips were just a little dry. They took me to my room pretty quickly and in a few minutes they let my mom and my best friend in to see me. I was surprised to see my friend because she was there so early (she was supposed to come much later).


My mom had to leave to go get my things from pre-op and my friend (the only other person who knows that I have had this surgery outside of my immediate family), tells me she is there because my mom called her all freaked out. Turns out they had a significant complication while I was under. They perforated my colon with one of the laproscopic cameras. Yea, it is as scary as it sounds. This happens in 1 out of 5000 laproscopic surgeries....lucky me. So...they had to repair and flush out my colon and then had to make the decision whether or not to implant the realize band. Thankfully the surgeon decided to go ahead and put the band in. I don't know what I would have done if I had this surgery and because of their mistake, I not only had a worse recovery, but also no band! Additionally, my hiatial hernia was a lot larger than they anticipated and it was affected by a significant fat pad on my stomach. They had a tough time manipulating the hernia to fix it. So...my 50 minute procedure lasted almost 2 and a half hours.  I guess when the surgeon came down to explain this to my mother, she felt too upset to come see me alone and asked Kim to come early. (Kim was the one who told me all of this). Kim came and stayed a while which is what I needed.


I was supposed to be discharged the next day by noon...but the doctor's wanted me to stay a little longer so they could watch for infection from the colon repair. At 2pm they told the nurses I would be discharged by 6pm so my mom brought my daughter in to pick me up and while they were on their way the doctor's stopped in to say they decided I had to stay another night for observation because my white blood cell count had not dropped. Lovely...another night in the hospital and more stuff for my mom to freak out about.


Thankfully they took my blood really early the next morning and discharged me and I was out the door by 9am. Not your typical surgical experience, which is why I chose to blog about it since I haven't heard or read about anyone else experiencing this...


My recovery has been hindered because of both the hiatial hernia repair and the colon repair. I had a lot of stuff flushed through my system (gallons of water and a betadine solution). I did have the benefit of  the morphine pump for two days in the hospital, so I didn't really feel pain until I got home. They sent me home with liquid Roxocet, which has worked really well. I am not able to go without it, however. The gas pains finally lessened today and my incisions look really good. I have one that is bruised around it, but all of them are closed well and not too terribly big. I took pictures of my incisions, so as soon as I get them uploaded, I will post for those who like to see that type of thing.


I asked myself, even with the complications, would you do this again? My answer is yes. I would. I am especially glad I got my hernia repaired too. So far I have NO hunger feelings. My stomach does rumble and sounds like it is hungry..but  I believe that is mainly gas moving around. I am taking Gas-X strips to help with that. I am also on a liquid anti-biotic for a week. I am having to force myself to consume stuff. I have to do liquids for three weeks so as not to stress my colon or my band. I have no fill in my band, so I am sure once the swelling goes down I will actually feel hungry, but I am good for now. I was supposed to be off until Wednesday next week, but I am going to see how I feel. I am not going to push it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The final countdown - why do it?

So, it is August 29th and my final countdown to surgery has begun.


On September 1st I will have WLS. My surgeon is installing the Realize band. This decision has been a long time in the making. Losing weight has never been a problem for me. It is the keeping it off part that seems to elude me. After taking off nearly 90 pounds in 8 months, I managed to put it back on in the same amount of time. I decided that it was finally time to seriously look into alternatives. I had previously researched WLS in the past, but was determined to do it on my own...which I obviously could do....but now..I am older..and the weight is back..and the thought of losing it all over again is daunting.


Then, the kicker..I go for my annual checkup and my GP says, it looks like you are pre-diabetic. For whatever reason, that scared me more than having any kind of surgery. I promptly set about researching again and decided the Gastric Lap Band was the best option for me. The reason it is best for me? Well...I know how to lose weight...I love to go to the gym and exercise...but when I go off of a program...I love to eat too..large quantities. So...with a band as my tool...when I do have those times when I can't maintain my personal goals on my own...I won't be able to eat those large quantities...I will be reminded that I can be satisfied with just nourishment and not indulgence. I know...that once I lose it, it will stay gone and I can march towards a goal with confidence. I can't wait!


Am I nervous? Oh yea. I have only been in the hospital for the birth of my daughter 9 years ago. I have never been put to sleep and I am generally not a fan of hospitals. I am a single mother...I have to be there for my daughter...am I being selfish...are the risks worth it? All the thoughts that swim around in your head. Am I determined? Oh yea...I want to be there for my daughter for the long haul...I want to enjoy life with her..I want to be healthy...and if that is selfish...so be it! Are the risks worth it? Oh yea. At my first surgeon's visit my BMI was 52.5. It is currently 49.8. The risks of being at the BMI far outweigh surgical risks. It doesn't matter how or why I got this way...I am...and I am doing something about it.


I have only chosen to tell my immediate family and my best friend that I am doing this. Not because I am ashamed or that it is a bad thing...but I think it is a private thing...I don't need those with good intentions attempting to "monitor" me or offering unsolicited advice. This is a personal journey and I am in control of it.

So...Tuesday won't get here soon enough. I am on my liquid diet - drinking my BSN Lean Dessert Protein shakes (I SO love them). My bag is packed, my pantry and cupboards are properly stocked....I am ready....4 days and counting!!