On September 1st I will have WLS. My surgeon is installing the Realize band. This decision has been a long time in the making. Losing weight has never been a problem for me. It is the keeping it off part that seems to elude me. After taking off nearly 90 pounds in 8 months, I managed to put it back on in the same amount of time. I decided that it was finally time to seriously look into alternatives. I had previously researched WLS in the past, but was determined to do it on my own...which I obviously could do....but now..I am older..and the weight is back..and the thought of losing it all over again is daunting.
Then, the kicker..I go for my annual checkup and my GP says, it looks like you are pre-diabetic. For whatever reason, that scared me more than having any kind of surgery. I promptly set about researching again and decided the Gastric Lap Band was the best option for me. The reason it is best for me? Well...I know how to lose weight...I love to go to the gym and exercise...but when I go off of a program...I love to eat too..large quantities. So...with a band as my tool...when I do have those times when I can't maintain my personal goals on my own...I won't be able to eat those large quantities...I will be reminded that I can be satisfied with just nourishment and not indulgence. I know...that once I lose it, it will stay gone and I can march towards a goal with confidence. I can't wait!
Am I nervous? Oh yea. I have only been in the hospital for the birth of my daughter 9 years ago. I have never been put to sleep and I am generally not a fan of hospitals. I am a single mother...I have to be there for my daughter...am I being selfish...are the risks worth it? All the thoughts that swim around in your head. Am I determined? Oh yea...I want to be there for my daughter for the long haul...I want to enjoy life with her..I want to be healthy...and if that is selfish...so be it! Are the risks worth it? Oh yea. At my first surgeon's visit my BMI was 52.5. It is currently 49.8. The risks of being at the BMI far outweigh surgical risks. It doesn't matter how or why I got this way...I am...and I am doing something about it.
I have only chosen to tell my immediate family and my best friend that I am doing this. Not because I am ashamed or that it is a bad thing...but I think it is a private thing...I don't need those with good intentions attempting to "monitor" me or offering unsolicited advice. This is a personal journey and I am in control of it.
So...Tuesday won't get here soon enough. I am on my liquid diet - drinking my BSN Lean Dessert Protein shakes (I SO love them). My bag is packed, my pantry and cupboards are properly stocked....I am ready....4 days and counting!!
